I've always wanted to act. Perhaps it's the attention seeking streak or maybe the desire to use my 'powerful' (read: loud) voice. Either way, I've always wanted to be on stage in costume in front of an audience. I'm not talking Hollywood, but theatre. But I've always put it off. Not because being on stage would be a great leap outside of my comfort zone, but rather that I always promised myself I'd lose some weight first.
Unfortunately, as time went by instead of getting smaller I slowly got bigger and at the only time when I perceived myself as sufficiently skinny (although still with a few kilo's to lose) I was far too busy at uni to take on something like theatre. So the idea of performing drifted around in my head for years, occasionally bumping into all the other dreams that I would fulfil when I was slim enough.
The Buddhists say that you should "abandon any hope of fruition". As long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will so you should relax into and enjoy living the life you want now. It's about not putting off living until a future date when I feel adequate. Because really, it never was about the extra kilo's but about accepting myself the way I am.
I finally decided to take the first step into living in the present. I joined a local theatre group and went to the first meeting last night. I was received warmly and unsurprisingly, it didn't matter how I looked. Instead I was challenged to act - funny thing for a theatre group!
Now I have a new challenge to do all the other things I have been putting off until I could accept my body. The first is obvious; the notion that I won't be happy until I have an ideal body. How common is that, especially in spring!?! What about not wearing certain items of clothing until I look perfect or buying an outfit that is slightly too small, but will be a great fit after a little weight loss. Or choosing not to plan a snorkeling holiday until I have the look of my dreams to match. How much have I been living in the future? I guess I'm about to find out!
How about you? Are you or have you put off something until you have your ideal body? Or have you put things off until you would be fitter or stronger or had mastered a particular skill or talents? Or do you just take the bull by the horns and are living in the now?
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That's great that you went and did it! It's so important to challenge ourselves. Am all about living in the now :) If ever I start putting things off because I'm not fit enough etc, I try to remember to give myself a little shake and just DO it.
ReplyDelete- Sagan
Now that 30 is looming there a few things I wish I had checked off my list by now. I am going to take your advice and not put if off any longer. We only get one life so we got to live it now.
ReplyDeleteI've had this experience and I can tell you that the longer you say "I'll do x when y happens", the longer you won't be doing anything. The only way to do it is jump in feet first and start doing it!
ReplyDeleteGood for you, what an inspiration. I too am guilty of the "when I'm thinner" syndrome, but lately I've been trying to shake it off. One big step in that direction was going indoor rock climbing, it was amazing.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to hear more about your theatrics!
Sagan - I wish I could do that!
ReplyDeleteKristi - That's true, especially when we don't know how long we have.
Healthy Hollywood - Yup, I know. There is a whole list!
Berni - That's good that you are shaking it off and I think once you get the ball rolling, it's easier to keep going.