Healthy living can be easy

Have you ever bought a magazine because it promised that just overleaf lay a diet and exercise program that would give you the body of your dreams? Each spring just as the days start to get warmer in September and the cold Westerlies have stopped blowing the magazine racks beckon with these promises. Spring brings that feeling of anticipation and the excitement that summer is just ahead. Day dreams are filled with picnics under the shade of cool trees, summer storms and hot days at the beach. Anything seems possible when the lull of winter is almost past.

I've bought into the dream almost every spring, believing that if I can just manage to stay on the program for the three months, I would have the body of my dreams. Just three short months and I would achieve my goal right? Of course the plan would need to become a lifestyle but by working hard anything was possible.

Healthy living is a matter of following a few simple principles - exercise regularly, eat clean, relax. But that can seem really hard when the starting point is at the polar opposite. Two of those principles disagreed with me and it wasn't the last one. I was scared of having to work really hard to reach my goals by turning down food that I loved simply because 'it wasn't good for me' or having to run regularly even though I hated running (yeah, I know). I could never willingly embrace what I saw as depriving myself of the joys of living for supposed health benefits or even a bikini ready body.

I doubt that I was alone in my unwillingness to change, because people tend to create an identity for themselves based on habits. We then describe ourselves as being the person with the insatiable appetite or the gym junkie. I for example am feeling very comfortable identifying myself as 'a runner' whereas in the past I was the one with the huge appetite and that is what I was proud of being. Healthy living threatened that identity which left me wondering who I would be; perhaps the sprouted greens and salad girl? I fought against becoming that person by not trying because being healthy seemed so hard. I chose to believe that if I found the right plan I could avoid becoming salad girl and still have the body of my dreams.

But what no generically written diet and exercise programme can do in all it's black and white glory is reflect real life. Reality is full of shades of grey and nuances where things change with time. Life is about stages and being ready to take the next step at the right time whether it's ramping up a fitness routine or enjoying eating sprouted greens and salad. By slowly adjusting your lifestyle over time you can grow into it so that it's more unpleasant to go back to old habits than continue with new ones. By tackling it in stages without surrendering an essential part of oneself it is possible to evolve a healthy lifestyle. When you are at the centre of the process, catering for your needs at each stage and adjusting when you are ready, then healthy living can be easy. Once you start, the evolution takes a course of it's own and all that is required is putting your feet, one in front of the other and things will change.

Except of course it's not as quick as a three month plan. But then, is it really possible to get an ideal body in three months? I read a blog by a body builder who had worked for years on his physic. That admission surprised me since I had always thought such a transformation would take many months perhaps, but not years. So maybe there is no express lane to a bikini ready body and it was never in our reach in the first place. What do you think?

Thank you

I don't think I have written very much about my downs over the last few months, mostly the ups. That isn't to say that there hasn't been plenty of bumps and doubts and feelings of failure, but mostly I wanted to focus on the positive on stuff that could be useful to others. And partly because I've been frustrated recently with this blog the focus of my animosity.

I haven't exactly been measuring my progress by kilo's lost but by how I felt about myself and exercise and food. Looking back the changes have been phenomenal. One year ago I certainly wouldn't have imagined that I would love going for a walk each day so much so that if I had a tail it would be wagging furiously each morning in anticipation. But despite the really good changes, I haven't been able to move past the desire to lose weight. And unfortunately that just stopped happening aka the plateau.

Trying to write in this blog reminded me of that every day and I felt like I was failing and it annoyed me a lot. I didn't want to be here, because I didn't want to think about how nothing was happening. But because of you dear readers I didn't want to give up on this blog, which would have meant giving up on myself too. It would have meant that I probably would have returned to my old habits because I could justify that this was just the way my body was and no amount of exercise or diet could improve it. I've finally pushed past the plateau although it did involve sacrificing my share of the most divine chocolate cake, but now I think it was worth it. I'm so glad I didn't give up and I wanted to thank you all for reading. Knowing you were out there has made a big difference and I really appreciate all your nice comments. I hope I can return the favour. Have a wonderful weekend :-)

Someone please pass me a celery stick

I hope you all had a lovely long weekend, celebrating or not celebrating Easter. We (my stomach and I) had a great time away in lovely Tenterfield with its autumn colours, rolling countryside and stunning National Parks. For the second year in a row my family spent the four days down there in a couple of little cabins tucked away next to a creek, enjoying camp fires, singing, bush poetry and our usual Polish Easter traditions. Specifically, that would be food and lots of it. For my family, both Christmas and Easter mean feasting. Not because of Lent or feasting on Good Friday and Easter Saturday, but because these are the only two times of the year that we make traditional Polish food. At some point many years ago, we began experimenting with the food of our new homeland - the food of others. We started cooking Italian pastas, Thai curries, Portuguese fish and any mix of food from around the world that is so readily available in Australia. Slowly but surely, Polish food faded off the menu of everyday cooking and now appears only twice a year when we gather to feast. By the end of breakfast, everyone usually holds their bellies, muttering that they really need a nap now, because eating has been so exhausting. Instead my sister pokes and prods us all and we go for a shortish walk to 'gently exercise our stomach muscles'.

This year was no different, but it turns out that I am different or more specifically my stomach. Before the trip I enquired as to who would be bringing he snacks, fruit and veggies. After much mockery at my expense, my family couldn't fathom why I would want to bring celery sticks, reassuring me that there would be plenty of food. Reflecting on their jokes about my eating habits, I thought that perhaps I was over reacting and I could in fact just stick with what the group was eating.

Unfortunately it turns out I can't and I'm not sure if that's a reflection on my strangeness or theirs. My eyes still water thinking about a 'salad' that was made primarily from potatoes or the half eaten brown avocado handed to me when I enquired as to the availability of more fresh produce. Argh, what have I become!?! Furthermore, feasting feels ghastly. Who would ever have thought that I would one day actually want to feel hungry? It is really fascinating how the body adjusts to eating patterns. At one stage in my life I thought my body loved fat and sugar and that was how things were going to be. Now my two day headache proves that sugar and I are not friends. I used to be able to happily overeat and sure I didn't feel great for a little while, but not 3 days! And Sundays feast was nothing compared to last year, when while 'gently exercising my stomach muscles' I felt like I was going to vomit. What puzzles me, is how few little changes I have made and yet the side effects are huge. The body is indeed a fascinating thing and by constantly adapting, apparently I haven't got it figured yet and I need to keep listening. That or perhaps not making the sugar mistake so often. Either way....where did I put those celery sticks....

Maintaining a healthy body

It’s so great to be back! You see, my biggest computer problem apparently wasn’t iTunes. I didn’t actually manage to get that working. In fact, I probably made things worse, by downloading a program that was supposed to help, but instead was a known virus. Thanks computer forums! It turns out, that wasn’t even the biggest issue as my savvy computer brother informed me. Apart from a variety of nasty worms and bugs, I had compressed my entire hard drive, my disk was badly fragmented and the virus buster not up to scratch. Basically it was slow, stuffed and at risk of intrusion by hackers. So after a stint at the doctors, I’m glad to say my computer is back and in good health.

Needless to say, being internet and computer free nearly drove me crazy, after all how can you resolve discussions if you can’t ask google and find out who is right? Yes, I know, it’s not about being ‘right’ but really it is, especially when the person you are debating with is making stuff up. I hate that. Annoyed as I was for this enforced separation between me and google, oops I mean the lap top, I figured it was after all my fault for not maintaining my computer properly. As with anything in life (like a virus buster) you get what you pay for (if it’s free, not much). So if I didn’t maintain my poor computer properly, how was I doing with other things in life? How well was I actually looking after my health? Am I preforming well on the surface, but full of wisdom teeth that should have been removed, I mean bugs underneath that only an expert would know about? I’ve grown more and more concerned about this, because I am terrible with maintenance. I don’t go to the doctor or dentists until I absolutely can not stand whatever is ailing me any more. I’ve spent the last week wondering what I should be doing to maintain my health to avoid needing the doctor in the first place. Thanks to google, here are the answers and as it turns out, today is also World Health Day.

I should point out, that my only qualification for giving out such advice is that I have a body, probably like you do, which would not make me a credible source. So, please don’t consider the following as advice. Any use of the information below is at your own risk. Sources of information may or may not be accurate, please do your own research for your own circumstances.

1. Wear earplugs

2. Get enough sleep

3. Wear good quality polarized sunnies that block UVA and UVB

4. Know your body composition

5. Know your family’s health history

6. Know your cancer risk

7. Know your cholesterol levels. Check every 5 years.

8. Know your resting heart rate

9. Keep your waist below 80cm

10. Eat loads of veggies

11. Eat everything in moderation

12. Spend time with friends and family

13. Laugh, lots

14. Take time out to relax

15. Have lots of sex

16. Avoid taking antibiotics

17. Don’t overeat

18. Avoid processed food

19. Limit alcohol intake and have alcohol free days

20. Brush floss and mouthwash daily

21. Slip, slop, slap

22. Exercise daily

23. Regularly do a self breast exam

24. Avoid watching tv or using the pc just before bed time

25. Relax before going to bed

26. Drink up to 3 cups of coffee a day (Organic, fair trade, shade grown)

27. Keep a personal medical record dairy

28. Keep emergency contact details in your wallet and phone as well as a list of allergies or drug sensitivities, or conditions you have

29. Improve your self esteem

30. Volunteer

31. Stop over analysing

32. Meditate

33. Avoid high heels

34. Wear a bike helmet and wear it properly

35. Stretch after every workout

36. Build up muscle

37. Check your vaccinations are up to date

38. Alway wear a seatbelt and don’t speed either, or talk on the mobile or drink & drive

39. Find out if your definition of healthy food is the same as your bodies

40. During child bearing years, get enough folate

41. Visit the dentist every 6 months

42. Screen for STD’s

43. Practise safe sex
    

44. Get your skin checked annually for melanoma’s

45. Check your moles regularly and notice any changes

46. Get an annual breast and pelvic exam and pap smear

47. Get your eyes tested annually

48. Get an annual mammogram after 40.

49. Every 2-3 years get a physical checking heartbeat, blood pressure, height and weight

50. Screen for diabetes after 45 every 2-3 years

51. Get a thyroid check after 35 every 5 years

52. Have a properly functioning smoke detector

53. Use your brain, regularly.

54. Get a pet or a plant (and don’t kill either of them)

55. Wear properly fitted bras

56. Stop smoking

57. Drink enough water, but not too much

58. Be positive

59. Sit and stand tall

60. Throw out the mascara after a month

61. Find a good trainer who teaches safe exercise

62. Find a good doctor/dentist/physio/shrink who listens

63. Wear properly fitted exercise shoes and replace them regularly

64. Swim between the flags and become a strong swimmer

65. Learn first aid – it might save someone’s life

66. Don’t kill snakes, that’s how most people get bitten

67. Don’t do stupid stuff like swimming under the influence

68. Be a smart traveller, know the dangers

Now over to you. What have I missed or got totally wrong?
*Edit - apart from the font....apparently not all is well :-(

Portion control

Actually, this post has nothing to do with control, because in my experience that just doesn’t work, at least not for me. I am absolutely hopeless with portion control. In fact although I eat almost no processed food, cook most things from scratch (even some types of cheese! Sorry, I’m just proud of that) and eat lots of veggies, I have never been able to control how much I eat. Eating is one of my greatest pleasures, which is why I have never risked my love for food by counting calories or analysing macro nutrient quantities (unless it was meat, because that was out for about 3 years). In fact, because of this love of food, I have felt entitled to eat as much as I pleased, even though my weight was constantly on the increase. The problem was that even if I tried to ‘trick’ myself by eating on smaller plates, I would feel deprived, especially as I watched my husband scoff down seconds and sometimes thirds (claiming he was still ‘hungry’ and sucking up by telling me how good my cooking was!)

I began practising the whole concept of intuitive eating whilst travelling through France using some of the ideas from "French Women Don’t Get Fat" after my grandfather told me that I had a weight problem and would probably struggle with it for the rest of my life. Funnily enough, despite eating baguette with butter for breakfast each morning and a selection of cheese and half a bottle of wine each night (as well as dinner) I actually lost weight. I wanted to continue when I got home, but my usual eating patterns returned as soon as the plane touched down. That’s when at the start of this year, I took the bull by the horns and decided to change my regular habits for good, without needing to rely on willpower for the rest of my life. These were the steps I took to learn to eat the ‘right’ amount.

Stage 1 – Put enough food on my plate that I acknowledge that it is too much for one sitting. Focus entirely on eating and how that feels as food enters the body and how hunger slowly diminishes. Stop when I feel satisfied and push the plate away. The rest can be eaten later if hungry or the following day for lunch or another meal. The key at this stage is to the sensations associated with not being stuffed immediately after a meal and throughout the evening or day. I found that I felt lighter, less tiered and satisfied with myself for not overeating.

Stage 2 – After a few weeks, I began to recognise what a ‘portion’ size suitable for me was so I decreased the amount on my plate to be what I thought appropriate. I still continued to be conscious, but it was less of an effort than in the first stage. At this point, I was still regularly over eating, but less than what I would have defined as stuffed in the past.

Stage 3 – I realised with shock, horror and delight that I could choose to eat less because it felt better, even when the food was on the table in front of me and my fellow eating companions were going back for seconds (and usually commenting that I didn’t eat much any more although I would be hungry again quicker than everyone else). At this point, overeating is fairly rare and when it does happen it’s not in excess.

Why do I think this has worked for me? Positive reinforcement. Every time I didn’t overeat I would think to myself how nice it felt to eat just the right amount rather than commenting that I couldn’t move, or feeling sleepy because my body was so busy digesting it was shutting down none essential functions – like my brain! Slowly but surely, I began being able to make the choice to eat less, because there was something that could weigh up against seconds – feeling good. What made it work was that it wasn’t external thoughts like ‘I shouldn’t eat any more because I’ll get fat’ or ‘Everyone is looking at you fatty, do you really need another piece?’ or ‘you’re going to eat HOW much…you’re trying to lose weight…no wonder you ALWAYS fail….you MORON’. These days, the internal dialogue goes more like:

Stomach: I think I’m full.
Brain: What already?!? You’ve only eaten half of what’s on your plate, are you sure you’re full, I think that the tastebuds are really having fun tonight.
Stomach: I know, but I’m definitely full. If I change my mind you can have more later.
Brain: I just have one thing to say to you stomach – you’re eating like a girl!
Stomach: Ahh brain, you and I are a girl! And you will be the first to complain that you feel so sleepy if you keep shoving food in me.
Brain: I know, I know you have reminded me 3 times a day for the last two months!
Stomach: And do you FEEL better when you aren’t drowsy because you didn’t eat too much and you can go and do fun things because of it? Besides in a few hours you will be complaining that I’m ALWAYS hungry!
Brain: Hey who do you think you are stomach!?! The brain or something!?! I know what’s good for me and I say you are full. Dinner’s over, but I’ll be back!

And my friends wonder why I occasionally space out during dinner! In case you are wondering, the only part of my body other than my brain that talks is my stomach! So that is how I have succeeded in reducing my portion sizes. For me, this is has been the only long term option that I can take anywhere because it is determined solely by the capacity of the stomach and doesn’t involve any tricks or willpower to make me eat less, just a warm satisfied feeling when I know I will feel good!

So I wonder, what are your strategies for reducing how much you eat? What about if you have never had to think about it because you just ‘know’ you’ve had enough and can stop? Any other suggestions for how this could work when there are chocolate coated macadamia nuts in front of me (intuitive eating doesn’t work then)? Do any of your body parts talk to you?

Is it a cop-out to not jog?

I bumped into my neighbour the other day at the shops and she asked if it was me she had seen out walking. She mentioned how she has just started her own walking routine and that although her body feels awful afterwards she can feel improvements. My neighbour is about 10 years older than me, but fit and trim looking and I always thought she was a gym junkie, so I was floored when she said that walking is tough. From the first day I have walked, I haven’t felt any real difference in my fitness despite subtle changes in energy levels, alertness and a vague general feeling of ‘well being’.

With all the recent talk of plateau’s I think my body has jumped on that bandwagon and I’m there staring at the very flat, seemingly endless plain with a dead straight road and barren fields that look so drought stricken they could suck the blood out of your veins if you got too close. Actually I lie, this plateau is a tropical rainforest and there are lots of beautifully coloured birds and butterflies and I am really quite content here. That’s probably the problem with this plateau because it’s not the dread barren place as in the first description but the second one and so my motivation to leave is low. Except of course I still have that image of those pants and the fact that I don’t fit them.

So this all got me to wondering about fitness and how much is enough. After a month of daily walks, I think it is time to increase the activity level a bit but I hate jogging which is the logical step up from walking. My whole premise to get myself to start exercising regularly what to do something I enjoy. This I have done with great success. But is it a copout to whine about not wanting to work harder? Do I just bite the bullet and workout wether I enjoy it or not because it’s good for my body and will help with weight loss? And how much is enough? Should we always push our bodies to work harder and get fitter? Is it enough if you have the fitness and strength to get through the day and the activities you enjoy doing?

Yes, I have doubts. I am beginning to clarify my thoughts on this which I will write more about (once they start sticking together a bit better rather than just floating around in my brain) but in the meantime I am curious to hear what your thoughts are and how you act on these.

No sugar challenge and the aftermath

So here was the plan. Sagan at Living Healthy in the Real World took on the challenge of a week with no added sugar. When I read her first post about her intentions I thought ‘wow that’s so cool, I always wanted to try that’ and what better incentive than when someone else has set the guidelines! I figured I could manage a week, from Sunday to Sunday without too much trouble. And true in spirit to limiting anything in life, on Saturday I indulged guilt free in a delicious dessert figuring that I will more than compensate with a whole week of no sugar.

Sunday morning clicked around and what was my first thought when I woke (apart from ‘I wonder what’s for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks today, tomorrow and the rest of the week’)? ‘Hmmm no sugar for a week…that’s gonna be tough….that means like, no chocolate powder on my cappuccino at breakfast….or cranberry juice…or piece of chocolate at random intervals throughout the day!!! But I NEED sugar…..my cravings…..think of my cravings…..I’m going to turn into a deprived lonely….probably today….or definitely tomorrow…’ So within about 30 seconds of waking I decided to ditch the sugar challenge! The same thing happened on Monday morning and then Tuesday came around.

By Tuesday I was equally freaked out by the idea of limiting my sugar intake, but at breakfast I figured I would survive without the aforementioned chocolate on my cappuccino. So, one meal down 20 to go. With lunch fast approaching, I again convinced myself that I could go without any sugar for this meal and again succeeded. Finally, after dinner I declined dessert, instead opting for a rooibos tea, which is quite a sweet tasting tea so it was moderately satisfying. In any case, I was proud that I had made it through a whole day with no sugar!

After the usual panic on Wednesday morning, I attempted the same approach, dealing with the sugar issue at each meal and not focusing on a whole week or even a whole day without sugar. Little baby steps took me through that day, Thursday and Friday. The challenge was going well, albeit a little delayed, until Saturday unleashed the three year old in me.

Weekends always take my best laid plans down and this one was no exception. It was a friend’s three year old’s birthday party. I was most impressed that all the party food was really healthy (think little dark bread sandwiches with veggie toppings) and I thought that with a bit of determination I could even turn down the cake. Until it came out that is. It was a volcano shaped cake with ‘lava’ pouring down the side and little chocolate coated ‘rocks’ at the base. I should’ve planned ahead better I know, because the cakes at this kids parties are always so awesome that the three year old in me shrieks with delight (on the inside of course!) and crowds in with all the kids watching hawkeyed to make sure I get my fair share. Well, chocolate cake with chocolate covered rocks was no exception. And that was how my sugar challenge ended after only 4 days! Just to remind me of my broken promise to myself, I had a bad headache for the rest of the day and some of the following and I was utterly exhausted. Hello sugar hangover….again!

Nonetheless, I have been very pleased at the good humour I have displayed toward myself when in breach of the goals I have set for myself and this weekend was no exception. I think this stems from the fact that I aim to learn something each time I fall down. This has been really helpful whenever a similar situation has come up because I have acquired some piece of wisdom previously and therefore been able to better deal with the situation. So what did I learn through this sugar challenge:

1. Break down each new habit I want to form so that progress can occur in little steps rather than focusing on the enormity of the change required
2. Find a healthy replacement for your cravings if possible
3. Learn something each time you fall down
4. Volcano shaped chocolate cake is beyond my powers of self control

This week I am planning to take this step by step approach in limiting the amount of wine I drink. I spoke with my mom about the study indicating that women increase their chance of cancer by drinking alcohol. Despite the study she has come to the conclusion that perhaps she should drink less and as she said this a tiny voice inside my head screamed ‘no this can’t be happening….if my mom believes that she should drink less, that means I should too….and I know I should study or no study. At this point I do feel the need to clarify that I only have ½ to 1 glass of wine per night. The problem is that wine drinking is a very powerful habit that means I drink every night despite the fact that alcohol free days are advised. In her very healthy approach my mom decided that she simply needed to replace wine with another drink and changing her habit wouldn’t be a problem. I’ve thought the same, however I hadn’t found a healthy alternative. In her all knowledgeable healthy ways, she suggested mineral water which she has already used to decrease her wine intake. Some people make it look so easy! So cheers to a week with no wine.

What did you learn from your mother?

It’s said that your mother can influence the way you feel about your body. If she openly criticised hers then her daughters are more likely to feel bad about theirs. But what about food? Does the way your mother eats impact you also? From my experience I would have to say yes. I know I didn’t get my body image issues from my Mom, but I do know that her eating habits have rubbed off on me. Well, at least in my dreams they have. See, I truly believe that losing and maintaining weight isn’t about counting calories, points or even attempting to balance carbs and proteins. I believe in earnest that a healthy diet (and by that I don’t mean dieting) can incorporate all food without needing to label it as bad or naughty. So where did I get my attitude towards food from? My Mother.

She is a woman who I have never seen refuse any food because it might be ‘fattening’. She has never dieted before or controlled what she eats. She regularly enjoys a little sweet treat, a glass of wine or some creamy cheese. What she does do is stop eating when she is satisfied and only eats when hungry. She will regularly save a bit for later and guard it closely if by chance its cake. Getting outside and being active is something she does for the love of it rather than to work out. I am totally in awe of my Mother as she is a perfect role model for how I want to live. It helps sharing the same genes, body shape and knowing how she does it!
For better or for worse, looking to our mother’s may just be the place to find out a bit about ourselves wether it’s attitudes to our bodies or food or what may be ahead of us as we age. What have you learnt from your Mom?

The story so far

Exercise
My main goal with exercise was to make it a regular occurrence, a healthy daily habit. I figured the only way to do this was to choose something I like doing. I did wonder how long it would take for exercise to become a habit since the opinions out there vary from 21 days to 6+ months. It’s now been 3 weeks and I have gone for a walk, cycle or played tennis almost every day. Each week I skipped one day, wether I was too sore, too busy or too upset. Either way, although I am enjoying it and seeing the benefits I don’t think it is a habit yet. Even though its mostly a matter of putting on a pair of running shoes and walking out the door, it’s far from automatic and many days I have to convince myself that now is the right time. On the other hand, if I don’t walk in the morning I think about it all day and try to plan it into the evening activities, so I would have to say my body likes it.

Food
Normally the moment I told my body it would have to lose some weight, it would rebel. “I’m hungry,” my stomach would moan and unquenchable hunger pains would start. “Enough is enough body, you can’t keep eating like this,” I would say. And in response it would demand sugar, the irrational part of the brain complicity reminding my body of the cake in the fridge whilst my rational thoughts tried to persuade me to ignore it.

This time I told my body it could have anything it craved even reminding it of the sweets. At first it thought that this sounded great and my stomach began to moan, but soon when it realised it could have anything it wanted, it became disinterested. It choose a healthy snack instead of cake, which wouldn’t have made it feel good.

The last few weeks, the more I have listened the more, my body has spoken to me. My mind has complicity tempted me with various treats but the body has casually responded that it wasn’t interested and that perhaps I should find something to do if I was feeling bored. My intense carvings have disappeared as well as the pre-mealtime madness. This isn’t to say the temptation hasn’t been there. But it was my body that said it had had enough, rather than my self discipline berating me that I would be fat forever if I ate another bite.

Although I committed to keep a food diary, I haven’t even written a single word. Interestingly, I haven’t had too much trouble most of the time in listening to my body. At times I have even become totally obsessive watching friends and family eating unhealthy food or worse still drinking soft drink and thinking how could they put that stuff in their bodies. At the same time I’ve come unhitched too, but by accepting it I was able to stop and move on instead of continuing the habit. The downside of not keeping a diary is that I have no idea how to tweak my eating as I slowly lose weight. So, for the next 3 week period, keeping a food diary is the goal.

Body Image
After making my initial commitment to improve my health in 2009, I started off by analysing all the reasons why I was physically where I was, before delving into setting the boundaries of my healthy living approach. But in retrospect, I think I probably took the wrong approach. I thought that I could work on my body image as I went along, but it should probably be the very first thing that I thought about. After all body image influences our goals probably more than anything else. Just watch an episode of “How to look good naked” and you realise women don’t have an accurate image of the way they look. For me, body image has usually been my derailing factor also.

Thankfully because I bumbled along in starting this blog and making a firm commitment I spent countless hours analysing how I actually felt and if anything I wrote could actually be of use to anyone in the bloggoshpere (or random, hapless person who stumbled onto my blog). I was very scared that my contribution would be worthless seeing as I was staunchly against the idea of loving my body as it was now. The good thing was that this challenged me to really think about how I could feel better about myself in order to be able to document it, which I sub consciously started doing well before writing about it.

In part this was actually frustrating because by the time I came to really starting to exercise regularly and eat consciously I already ‘felt’ smaller even though volumetrically my body remained the same. I heard a brilliant quote on this ‘reduce the amount of space they take up in your mind’, with ‘they’ referring to breasts. Ah, it was relevant to the tv show about women unhappy about the size of their breasts because they were too large. But it’s equally applicable to our bodies, as I was experiencing. So for me, improving my body image has been very positive – I feel smaller, I am more conscious of looking after my body for it’s sake and I’m obsessing over the way it looks less.

Conclusion
So far, my ‘plan’ and attitude shifts have been very successful. I am particularly delighted that I am seeing volumetric changes in my body (which at this stage is a big motivator) without much effort. I won’t kid anyone and say it’s been fast by any stretch of the imagination, but I’ve actually enjoyed myself and feel a lot better about my body. And apart from speed, isn’t weight loss mecca the place where losing weight isn’t hard?

It's ok to fail

A perfect life is something that we strive towards, after all isn’t that what New Year’s resolutions are; changing something you don’t like about yourself. And if year after year we tell ourselves that we need to change then we carry over to our daily lives that feeling that we need to be perfect and aren’t. When we decide that this year will be the year we become healthy (guilty!) we strive towards control over ourselves. We set boundaries by defining what health or a weight loss program is for us, even if we don’t follow a traditional diet. And while we are in control, everything is ok, but when we lose that control, we feel like we failed, fell off the wagon, sabotaged ourselves. We have all experienced what happens next – throwing in the towel, saying that this diet isn’t for us, feeling like a failure and so eating even more and saying horrible things to ourselves.

Now if you are reading this, then you are probably a human being like me. You are probably living a life that isn’t perfect, because unfortunately life just doesn’t happen that way. No matter how annoying or painful that is, it’s a good thing, because the challenges in life are what make us grow and come to realise what is most important to us. It doesn’t really matter what the original reason was either, wether an event that was out of our control, throwing our emotional state out, time pressure which meant we weren’t able to follow through with our resolve or self sabotage. Any situation that throws us off course requires the same response, accepting ourselves.

Eventually our lives return to an equilibrium where we must face up to the choices we made in dealing with our crisis and the impact they had on our goals. In the thick of it, the easiest answer is to give up, but when we simply accept that we aren’t perfect, that things happen in our lives and sometimes our response is not ideal, then it’s easier to return to our good habits. This is part of the process of learning to love and respect yourself and providing room for failure to enable growth and learning. The worst thing we can do is punish ourselves for being human and for being imperfect. Here are a couple of strategies that might be helpful:

1. If you are breaking one of your boundaries, realise it, decide if you still want to keep going and if you do, accept that that is the choice you made. Making a conscious decision is very empowering because you give yourself permission to proceed rather than feeling out of control when you realise halfway through a 2L bucket of ice cream what you are doing. Which brings me to point two.
2. Avoid negative self talk and if you don’t know how the strategies invest some time into learning them. It will probably be the best investment for your mental health and self esteem you can make. Of course, apart from the theory you need to apply it – that’s the bit I always struggle with (read: don’t do) but just the knowledge has helped.
3. Keep asking yourself, gently, if you are still making the right choice based on how you are feeling.
4. Don’t vow to make up for the episode. Perhaps you’ve taken a step backwards if you are trying to lose weight, that’s a part of life and aiming to work harder to make up for it is more likely to be a discouragement to a return to a healthy lifestyle. The problem is that it’s like punishing yourself because you are a human being. If you manage to graciously accept your failings then you have learnt a whole lot more than what sticking to your course might have done.

At least this is what I have come to realise, over the last few very sad days. Between tears, I would gobble up bowls of ice cream, chocolate covered honeycomb and hot chocolates. While I knew that this wouldn’t make any difference to the hurt inside and I would probably even feel worse from a sugar overdose, I still did it. I accepted myself while making those choices and today when I feel better I’m still ok with my response (despite the added kilo’s that I have no desire to check on) and am returning to the healthy habits that I’m creating. It actually makes me happy to realise that this is in stark comparison to what would have happened in the past.

But I’m curious if there is anything I could have done differently or is occasional emotional eating just a part of life as much as emotional experiences are? It’s the classic female cliché, reaching for a block of chocolate and a chick flick to unburden our feelings, but is it really ok or is there a better option? Would we be better off to deal with our feeling the way men do? Have you found a good way to deal with emotions without reaching for the freezer door?

'Before' pictures that say a thousand words

Repeatedly health experts have suggested taking ‘before’ photos at the start of a new exercise and diet regime. These photo’s serve as a testimony to progress, when after weeks or months the newly slimmed down exerciser can compare the body they previously had to the one they have today. When presented in a before and after format, someone elses success can be motivation in itself to begin our own transformation. Alternatively before photo’s can strengthen a commitment to a program by showing the magnitude of the problem from all angles. They no doubt be a powerful tool as part of a weight loss program, but they can also be part of the reason for failure.

Take a close look at some of the before photo’s. Look carefully and consider what you see. Do the people carry themselves well? What’s is the expression on their faces? Do their eyes sparkle? Take a look at your own before photos if you have ever taken them. How do you feel looking at yourself? Do those images represent people who are happy with their bodies regardless of the way they look?

The road to failure of a health regime is paved amongst other things with a lack of self-esteem. It’s without an appreciation for the marvel that the human body is that we can harm them so much by not exercising, eating junk food or berating them and then justify our behaviour. It’s not surprising because we are taught to believe that an ideal body can be achieved through willpower rather than through gentle care and nurturing tenderness. Eventually everyone falls off the wagon of a healthy lifestyle, but it’s much easier to get back on if the underlying reason is a respect for your body. But why would you want to nurture an ugly body? It’s like learning to love spiders, some people do, but most think they are best dead.

It is difficult to appreciate your body the way it is today regardless of shape or size. But learning to love your body makes sticking to a healthy lifestyle and losing weight easier because the motivation isn’t based on appearance alone. By appreciating the body you have, the effort you put in to caring for it is worth it regardless if it’s reflected in the way you look. And generally by eating well and exercising your body will reflect the level of care you give it.

So forget about the before photo or hide it somewhere well out of sight and photograph instead the parts of your body you do like. Stick these on the mirror so each time you walk past you are reminded of what you like about yourself. Eventually, your might finding that your love sneaks away from just the bits you like to all of you.

Have you learnt to love your body despite its imperfections? What helped you along the way? Or do you still struggle to accept yourself as you are?

Teaching children

Many of my friends are pregnant or have newborns. Children scare me, because I don’t understand them as I have had little to do with them in my life. For me, each meeting is a moment of learning – how small they really are, what makes them cry, seeing them grow, begin to smile, feeling peaceful when they fall asleep in my arms. I look down on their tiny little bodies, perfect hands, scrunched up faces, curled up legs. All they seem to want is to be held, close to the heart, warm and secure. They feel pain and they don’t understand it. Their body isn’t quite under their control – those arm things flinging around grabbing some hair, a poke in the eye, but mostly just air. Then they become conscious of this strange body, they can roll, then crawl, walk, and soon run. Every time I see these tiny little people I wonder if one day they will look down and think ugh. Look at those hips or those thighs or that belly. Will these little bodies, that seemed so perfect to their parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts and all those who cared about them become an object of self loathing? Will these kids cry in the arms of those who love them, bewildered at how anyone could find their bodies anything but repulsive?

Part of the reason I decided that I desperately needed to improve my own body image and habits were for my children. Since all my friends began conceiving my husband and I have talked a lot about our own future babies, he dreams of them and I don’t. Looking at my friend’s children I became fearful of the thoughts about body image that I may pass onto my own kids in the future. I worried about teaching them how to have an unhealthy relationship with food, exercise and how to go through life always unhappy with your weight. I shudder to think bringing a baby into this world and teaching them to create the same suffering for themselves as I have made for me.

I realised that although the baby plan may be at least a few years in the future, improving my body image and creating healthy habits was something I needed to start doing now. So here I am, working on becoming a healthier happier person, so that one day I can lead by healthy example. I just wonder, is it enough? Since I didn’t get my self-esteem issues from my mother, so what else needs to be done to raise children with a positive self-image?

You know more than you think you do

That was the message that Dr Benjamin Spock had for parents back in the 1960’s. This was the message I learnt last night on an ABC show ‘Bringing Up Baby’ which follows 6 couples bringing up children using last centuries most popular parenting techniques. Now I should clarify – I have no children, nor am I likely to have any children in the next few years. But a lot of my friends already have babies or are about to, so I have heard a lot about parenting recently. Facing up to the inevitable (children) I listen with interest to all their hardships and theories thinking about what I would do differently or wondering how I would cope.

What got me watching last night, was that phrase – Trust yourself: you know more than you think you do. Dr Spock’s message was that the strict parenting styles of the 1950’s that dictated for example that you should not pick up your baby or you will spoil them were flawed. He suggested that the one-size-fits all approach did not reflect that parents know their children best. He urged parents to use a flexible approach to parenting that would be reflective of each child’s individuality. That was exactly what some friends advised after the birth of their second child, when they threw away the ‘rule’ book and listened to their baby. The other thing that Dr Spock suggested was that parents have fun being parents and enjoy their child’s development.

Now how does this relate to anything about being healthy and losing weight? Well, it made me think even further about what I have mentioned in previous posts about listening to yourself. If the number of parenting books is in the hundreds of thousands, then the number of diet books must be double that. Everywhere you turn there are books, magazines, newspaper articles and tv shows telling you how to lose weight. Not only that but manufacturer’s are creating ‘100 calorie snacks’, all the fast food joints have their ‘healthy options’, cat food is advertised as ‘low fat’ and we are telling the government to introduce legislation over junk food advertising and blaming the media for showing us itsy bitsy models. Effectively, the control over our bodies is out of our hands and into the outstretched arms of the ‘experts’ that form the diet industry. There are so many diets and so much advice out there about every food under the sun (and those from laboratories), analysed based on all manner of scales like GI or whatsitmadooba. It’s enough that those who don’t need to lose weight are panicking over their food choices and hating their bodies.

What I think we need more of is trust in our own wisdom and knowledge of our bodies. In reality most people know that potato chips and cheesecake aren’t all that good for them and vegetables are. No diet book is required to tell you that – after all I just did! But even with the knowledge we have, we relinquish control and follow the various prescriptions of low carb, no carb, high fat, low fat, or no snacks.

My aim this year is as stated ‘to end the war between mind and body’ and the only way to do that is to listen to what my body says. Since tunning in at the start of the year, it’s been pretty clear what it wants. At first my body was a little timid, but soon it gained confidence and started speaking out. It tells me loud and clear when I need to get up off the computer chair or it’s eaten enough or it really isn’t interested in food at the moment. In fact in the past, if I haven’t done any exercise for long enough, I would start having repeated dreams about jogging! So, I am going to keep following Dr Spock’s advice for myself and who knows maybe one day listen to it raising my children.

Getting ready for the weekend

It’s been a beautiful summer for those not affected by weather extremes. We’ve had lots of beach days, picnics in the park and bush walks. That’s a lot of time in the sun and although we should all be getting our fair share, too much is definitely not a good thing. Often when I look around on the beach, I see a lot of Australians who just don’t seem to be looking after their skin. Obviously the message of slip, slop, slap isn’t getting through, so now we have new graphic ads showing skin cancer development. But I don’t think it’s just Australians that aren’t sun smart – just look at all the tourists sun baking at noon on the beach. I noticed in Europe, the minute a ray of sunshine popped it’s head out between the clouds, everyone would rush to expose their ghostly winter skin.

I confess, I worry when I see people baking in the sun. I see dark spots on their bodies and I feel sad for them. I worry about my own pale skin and the number of moles that appear each year over the summer. I worry because a family member has been touched by skin cancer and is no longer with us to share love, happiness and tears. I worry, because it wasn’t the Australian sun that caused the cancer, but the European one.


On the Australian Bureau of Meteorology Website, they state the UV alert together with the days weather report. Shown is the predicted maximum on a scale of 1-20. Every day I have checked, it’s been in the extreme zone, which is 11+. They also state times between which your skin is at risk if no sun smart measures are used. I try to avoid being in the sun at these times, or completely cover up. It isn’t very cool, but then how cool is skin cancer? So wherever you are, have a great weekend, enjoy the outdoors and don’t forget the sunscreen.

Stoking my Metabolic Fire

At least I think that is what I’m doing! The highlight of my day is becoming the mid morning snack of colourful, crunchy veggies and fruit which also helps the metabolic burn. I definitely like this habit and it really isn’t difficult for me to keep up. Usually 3 hours or so after breakfast I get very hungry, to the point that I can’t think about anything but food. In the half hour leading up to lunch time I check the time every 2-3 minutes because my stomach can’t wait till lunch.

I have tried in the past not to snack, because apparently that was what contributed to not losing weight – just ask any ‘why you’re not losing weight’ article. By not snacking, the outcome for me is total distraction for the entire morning and that’s not very productive. I’ve tried eating healthy snacks like a piece of fruit which has made me really angry at fruit because I usually just felt frustrated because I feel even hungrier. And then a gym enthusiast friend suggested the 6 portions a day approach which he said would help speed up my metabolism. I’m not really a fan of breaking bigger meals into two and it doesn’t fit well with a regular day especially if eating leftovers or if you have specific lunch hours. But I have had great success with these plates of chopped veggies and fruit. They are sufficiently large to actually fill me up without a huge hit of dreaded calories; provide a big boost of vitamins; and ensure that I get enough veggies per day which I am the first to admit can be difficult. Just adding a big healthy snack like this without changing any other habits has led to weight loss in the past. I’ve always heard its because it speeds up your metabolism, but some studies show that there is no correlation. The thing I am learning about the weight loss process though, is it’s about my body and what works for me, regardless of the advice of the day. And besides, I’m really enjoying feasting my eyes on this tasty food too! Have you got any great snacks that you love?