Reasons not to think during class

It all started when the instructor told us to stand with feet hip width apart. I watched as half the class in my view range took a big step out. Instantly I remembered a yoga instructor pointing out that we must all think we have huge hips if where we placed our feet was the definition of hip width. Within seconds I had made a mental note to mention that at some point. For the rest of the class I couldn't focus on anything but what I wanted to write. So hear is what I learnt: a few reasons not to write blog posts in your head during a body balance class.

Feeling silly: When the instructor goes left and 30 other people follow, except you. Because you were still mulling over all the other interesting things that you have noticed in the gym since you walked in 5 minutes ago.

Body rebellion: Because you aren't paying attention to your body whilst holding the various poses you get cramps in odd places. Like your feet whilst doing a balance pose. You avoid toppling over with difficulty and endeavour to start focusing right then and there.

This one was actually useful: Which last about 5 seconds until you begin wondering if anyone knows the reason why they do balance poses straight after standing strength when your leg muscles are the most fatigued and hence it's most difficult to hold the position without shaking. You resolve to ask the instructor at the end simply so that you can enlighten others who may have been wondering the same thing.

Feelings of inadequacy: Seeing as you aren't paying attention anyway, even in the darkened room you notice what everyone else is doing. And you wonder why everyone else can reach forward way further than you. You resolve to stretch more because you feel woefully inadequate.

Disturbing others: Absentmindedly you hit someone else whilst sweeping your arms across your body, because you didn't notice how far to one side you had travelled. Apologetically you shuffle back over to your own spot.

Not relaxing: And finally you see relaxation as a perfect opportunity to go over all your wonderful thoughts during the class, which is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.

How about you? Any stories from classes you've been to when you couldn't pay attention?

At the beginning of yoga

I brought up the subject of Bette Calman the yoga 'supergran' with my husband the other day. His response was that if he had had 50 years to practise he would also be that flexible! I love it and guess who now has a new challenge. For a change it isn't me, it's him. But I'll be supportive.

Over Easter I acquired a new book for my collection. Well, I should use the term 'new' loosely in this case, with its yellow stains, dog eared corners and pages that have come away from their binding. But the book has I story that I can only guess at. It's a second edition little paper back called 'Yoga Postures' by James Hewitt. Interestingly this 1982 edition was only authorised for sale in India, Ceylon, Nepal, Sikkim, Bhutan, Bangladesh, Burma, Thailand, Indonesia, Cambodia, Laos, Vietnam and Korea. Now that sounds like a list of places I would love to visit!

Apart from the cute black and white illustrations what struck me was the introduction. The author speaks of how the average Westerner is "lamentably out of touch with his muscles and joints, which have stiffened up and lost tone and elasticity". So, not much has changed in the last 25 years. He also goes on to speak about how yoga practise, unlike martial arts for example is rewarding at every level regardless of skill and suppleness, perhaps even being the most useful for beginners. That's a positive way of looking at it, because sometimes trying a new posture where you feel stupid and awkward can make you not want to try again. And yet, when you feel that way you stand to gain the most. I will remind my husband as he is starts his 50 years of practise!

It's a sign and other tidbits

For those of us who tend to enjoying over analysing stuff, like signs on bus stops, well the plot thickens. Some posts back I wrote about the sign on the bus stop that on my daily walk burst my bubble of smugness. You know the one about 'how do you measure up?' which reminds me that I am not perfect. Well as an aside, I have reached the conclusion that I will never 'measure up' unless I start measuring my waist in a different spot which conveniently is not located near my belly button like the woman in the picture. Actually, if you can advise where to measure your waist that would be most useful. But in any case, the sign is gone! World domination here I come. It's been replaced with......


....yes, that is spaghetti and meatballs. White spaghetti, just think of the lack of nutritional benefits and hit of glucose to the blood stream!?! Oh the horror. What does this all mean, why do they like to confuse me like this! Well, I thought it was funny anyway....

On another sign that needs no analysing but just liked and wanted to share:

"Smiling increases the face value of your assets."

On a final note; an update about the no shampoo experiment. It's been 2 weeks now since I last washed and I was about to give up as in the last few days it got really oily and the bicarb soda and vinegar rinse was doing nothing and combing it 100 times was making it fall out. Seriously, anyone want a wig? Anyway, this morning after a rather liberal 'sprinkle' of bicarb soda it's as clean and soft as though I had used shampoo but minus the tangles and frizz despite viscous, I mean therapeutic massaging of the scalp. Could it be that shampoo free is possible?

Miss Universe Australia and the Supergran

It seems that this week, Miss Universe controversy abounds. The story today is that one of the 32 finalists of the Miss Universe Australia beauty pageant has been labelled by disturbed onlookers and the media as having an eating disorder. The model in question Stephanie Naumoska is 180cm tall and weighs only 49kg, which gives her a BMI of 15.1. She is of Macedonian heritage and the organiser of the pageant have cited this as simply being her body type. Fellow contests have rallied in her defense and she has spoken out herself stating that she eats well and is happy with her body the way it is. Well, probably not any more.

One the one hand it is frightening to see her pass through to the final, thereby being someone's definition of beautiful, on the other hand I remembered about a few people I went to school with. All were very skinny and one of confessed to being unhappy with her body because of being consistely told she looked anorexic and helpfully advised to eat more. I knew her well enough to know that she did not have an eating disorder. Could it be that this is the case for this woman? I doubt we will ever know the truth.

In any case, although this skinny might not be very common, is it necessary to criticise everyone for their size? Those carrying extra weight are criticised, those deemed to be carrying too little weight are, women with curves are labelled as 'real women' which perhaps leaves those without thinking they aren't ok either. Crazy would be a mild term to describe the extremities that are evident in our society regarding body image. On the one hand we have a media that pushes unaturally skinny, while the average person is overweight. We have children as young as five who are showing signs of eating disorders and most women dislike their bodies. Would it be fair to say that we are sending the wrong message to almost every woman?

And now to a woman who I do aspire to - Bette Calman the yoga 'supergran'. She is an 83 year old yoga teacher who proves that you are never too old. It is inspiring to see that old age doesn't have to bring frailty. Her pictures are really amazing. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to my yoga mat.

On judging and being judged

I noticed my reflection in the mirror as I walked into the room. It just wasn't right, so I tugged on my top. That wasn't enough as my belly was still poking out from my loose fitting top. I straightened up and braced my core. We were hanging out at a friends place looking around at the house and after catching sight of myself I started to feel uncomfortable. I realised it probably had a lot to do with my friends presence. In confidence I had found out a few weeks ago his unrealistic expectations of women's bodies. Seriously unrealistic. Thankfully that isn't my battle to fight, but here I was in his presence feeling judged. And suddenly, I felt fat.

Except perhaps when we first met this friend, it had never occurred to me that my appearance might be scrutinised. As soon as I was, I became self conscious. That's precisely what happens in situations when I am feeling like I am being judged. And I usually know when those times are. There is a reason why I absolutely hate going to the gym and it's got more to do with my fellow gym goers than the awful smell of years of human sweat that's been recycled through the air conditioning units and has seeped into the carpet.

I feel like I am being judged when I myself am doing the judging. And by this I don't necessarily mean criticising others but rather comparing myself for better or for worse. It stands to reason in my mind that if I am comparing, there is a very good chance that others are also which means they have probably noticed my flaws. Which brings my attention to my flaws. Which makes me feel bad. Which is a great way to erode positive body image. Which is why I need to stop being judgemental of others so that I can like myself better.

Hair care or a lack thereof

There are times when it's probably a good thing you only know me on the bloggosphere not in reality. Additionally, living on the other side of the planet might be a good thing too just in case you happen to pass my way. I say this as though I have no faith in the experiment I have decided to once again do. Well maybe I don't! When I wrote about not using shampoo the comments overwhelmingly suggested that some of you may stop if given a sufficiently compelling reason. So, I was inspired again to try to provide that reason. I'm not sure why. I have a suspicion that it has to do with my own inexplicable desire to stop washing my hair. Not that I don't like doing it, because some days I have to stop myself from reaching for the shampoo because its such a nice thing to do. No, it's more likely that when it comes to hair care (amongst other things) I am extremely lazy. My hair always seems to need washing at the most inconvenient times and I usually find myself going out with wet, un-styled hair. I often laugh at myself for sporting the drowned rat look and hope that one day I might be cool enough for the look to catch on. Whenever my hair dresser asks if I blow dry my hair I suggest that if her definition of 'blow drying' is winding the window down in the car, then yes I do it frequently. What about product? Well, the idea of styling my hair with it's own oil actually sounds rather fuss free which greatly appeals. So, while I do get grossed out by greasy hair, especially that's been scrunched under a hat all day (happens every weekend) I can certainly see the appeal of not washing. So I'm giving the no hair washing another go, for as long as I can last.

This time around I am following some sage advice with using a bicarb soda recipe to help control the oil and a rinse to keep my hair nice and soft. The recipes can be found here. I'm aiming at doing this about twice a week.

A few of the benefits from last time include:

1. Not needing to wash as frequently. I used to wash every 2 days and at the end of the second it already looked lanky. After the last no shampoo stint and despite aforementioned hat weekends and exercising daily with various amounts of sweating I can stretch to a week.
2. Fewer knots. My hair loves to knot. I recently cut it back to my shoulders after spending half an hour untangling after wearing it out one evening. It tangles less when it isn't squeaky clean.
3. Less frizz. My beautifully washed, soft silky hair does not look like in the shampoo ads. I get little horns from the side with a light frizz all over and my hair isn't even close to curly. My unwashed hair does not have this problem, a big upshot when styling and not wishing to use copious amounts of product with dubious ingredients.

So anyone else interested in joining in?!

What are you waiting for?

I've always wanted to act. Perhaps it's the attention seeking streak or maybe the desire to use my 'powerful' (read: loud) voice. Either way, I've always wanted to be on stage in costume in front of an audience. I'm not talking Hollywood, but theatre. But I've always put it off. Not because being on stage would be a great leap outside of my comfort zone, but rather that I always promised myself I'd lose some weight first.

Unfortunately, as time went by instead of getting smaller I slowly got bigger and at the only time when I perceived myself as sufficiently skinny (although still with a few kilo's to lose) I was far too busy at uni to take on something like theatre. So the idea of performing drifted around in my head for years, occasionally bumping into all the other dreams that I would fulfil when I was slim enough.

The Buddhists say that you should "abandon any hope of fruition". As long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will so you should relax into and enjoy living the life you want now. It's about not putting off living until a future date when I feel adequate. Because really, it never was about the extra kilo's but about accepting myself the way I am.

I finally decided to take the first step into living in the present. I joined a local theatre group and went to the first meeting last night. I was received warmly and unsurprisingly, it didn't matter how I looked. Instead I was challenged to act - funny thing for a theatre group!

Now I have a new challenge to do all the other things I have been putting off until I could accept my body. The first is obvious; the notion that I won't be happy until I have an ideal body. How common is that, especially in spring!?! What about not wearing certain items of clothing until I look perfect or buying an outfit that is slightly too small, but will be a great fit after a little weight loss. Or choosing not to plan a snorkeling holiday until I have the look of my dreams to match. How much have I been living in the future? I guess I'm about to find out!

How about you? Are you or have you put off something until you have your ideal body? Or have you put things off until you would be fitter or stronger or had mastered a particular skill or talents? Or do you just take the bull by the horns and are living in the now?