I've never been good at pushing myself physically. My motto has always been "when the going gets tough, start whining and preferably quit alternatively complain more". But somehow I thought I was past that with all the positive things that I had written about previously. I suppose I should have heeded the signs that all was not figured out though. Each time I was on the last interval of the Couch to 5K I would swear that I would never be doing this again because it's just too hard.
The problem is that it is the opposite of what I would love to do more of in life. See adventure magazines make me drool, I can get lost in outdoor shops for hours dreaming up crazy ideas of exploring the wilderness and those huge posters of people 'livin' the dream'? They stop me in my tracks each time. I'm not content to simply be an armchair traveller. I want to be one of the them paddling, hiking or cycling in the great outdoors and loving the challenge. There's just always been one tiny little thing standing in my way, which makes my companions duck for cover (or they resort to bribing me with chocolate - can't whinge when my mouth is full!) - a lousy attitude.
Once I could have argued that I wasn't physically fit, like the time when we cycled in NZ. But last weekend on the overnight hike, I really had no excuses. I felt fitter than ever before and yet at the end of the first day I declared to my husband that I would never, ever accept another invitation to go walking again. Sure I would love to travel the world and hike the best trails on the planet, but walking just for the sake of it was not something I enjoyed doing and everyone had better start accepting that that is just who I am. Needless to say, the following day I didn't have a walking companion as he stayed well ahead of me.
After talking about my attitude with him a few days later, I felt ashamed at how much impact my negativity can have on his experiences. He never gets the self-satisfaction and elation at the end of the day after I've clobbered him over the head with my foul mood. So what of our travel plans for the future? At the moment I sure wouldn't want to walk the Inca Trail or hike to Base Camp at Everest (two of my favourite ideas) seeing as there is a high chance of me getting tired and grumpy.
So for me, I need to learn to push myself physically and be able to deal with that mentally so that I can finally reconcile my love of the outdoors and my aversion to pain. I want to be able to get the most out of my body and push my limits. For my husband, I want to get rid of my lousy attitude so that I can be a good companion so that he can finally enjoy a trip even when the going gets tough. I guess I should start with my very next run.
Any tips for leaning how to deal with the mental aspect of pushing yourself? Is it something that can change or do some people have more resilience than others?