Maybe I am just tired of endless contemplation of my body, perhaps it’s that I feel hopeless. I would like to think that maybe I have just reached a mature decision this year. A little while ago, sometime before New Years I stood at the crossroads of choice, in this case, a busy four way intersection. You wouldn’t believe the number of people who were there at the same time as me – it seems to get particularly busy at the start of the year! Straight ahead I could see the road I was travelling, it stretches on for miles and miles, it’s undulating, sometimes a little bumpy, but above all, it is fairly predictable. It is filled with lots of criticism and self-loathing for my body, but at least it’s easy, except on fat days!
On the right is a road that I have been down before. It’s the short cut, starting with a big hill right at the beginning but promising to get you to your destination fast. I never enjoy this road because on it I have to do all the things I don’t like. It may be the quickest route to “rock hard abs”, but as soon as I get half way up, my willpower gives out and I slide back down to that intersection.
Then there is the road on the left – this is the scenic road. I’ve been down this one as well, but I turned back too soon. This is the road where you can enjoy the journey as well as the destination. You can take things as slowly as your body requires. In the end you still get to the place you are going, but sometimes it feels like it will take forever. You might not make it by your birthday, cousins wedding or that beach holiday because you are a Sunday driver. Unfortunately, as slow as it may be, this is the road that you will be happy to be on for life! Standing at this intersection once more, I came to the conclusion to try things differently this time, to take it slow. Others have started well ahead of me, it is after all already February, but this time that’s ok.
I read some words of wisdom from Peter Crone about the journey;
“You’re not fat, but your choices in life may have led you to be living in a body that is. Start to make choices for the body you want to be living in”.
I know what those choices should be, seeing as I have been working on it for a long time, but I always seem to find them difficult to implement. In light of ‘going slow’ this week I will do some self-awareness exercises to work out what I need to change in my lifestyle to become healthier. It’s not as simple as too much energy in and too little out that is holding us back.