Back at the beginning on a different board game

So here I am again and I don't mean on the blog. Oh yes, I suppose I am here again, but I mean this place or at least this me. The sense of deja-vu is slapping me over the head each day. 'Here' is where I've always been. Actually, I spent most of my life 'here'. My perspective has just changed a little, although evidently not enough.

Let me explain. No, in my absence I did not undo all the work I've put in during the year. I continued and I progressed. As the hint of spring faded from the air, I took every opportunity to wear my favourite pants. Oh yes, because now I fit into them even sitting down. The last time that happened was almost 5 years ago.

As I approached the marvelous possibility of wearing them again I was totally thrilled with the way I looked. Hey, at the start of the year I would have done anything to be getting down to this size. Yet, as soon as I did, all I could see was the few extra kilo's that are still hanging around. That's exactly the same feeling I had when I returned home 5 years ago. I knew I'd done a great job then of having slimmed down, but all I could see was that I could stand to lose a bit more.

Actually that's how I've felt since I can remember. Except in my teenage years, before I gained any weight I was convinced I was huge. That's where the perspective comes in - in retrospect, I was never huge there were just those couple of extra kilo's that needed to go.

And those couple of extra kilo's are what's haunting me today, just like they have for the last 15 odd years. So I suppose that leaves me with a choice - progress or accept. One thing I know is I don't want to be 'here' any more.

I'm not really here

Please let it snow. Please let it snow. Please let it snow. Thank you.

Get down and give me 50

I think I'm going to rename this blog the "Muscle Discovery Blog". That's if the last few posts are anything to go by. The only problem of course is that in a few weeks I will probably fall head over heels for something new. My attention span is like that.

Now about my favourite topic; muscles. A few weeks back when I did my assessment at the gym I had to write down some goals. Three to be precise because the form only had enough space for that many. I meant to post them as motivation, but clearly I was more interested in discussing other things at the time, so here they are.

1. Get down to a ridiculously low body fat percentage. It seemed achievable until I found out my current percentage, then it became ridiculous. Anyhoo...
2. Run 5K in under 25 minutes. Personal best...umm the only time I timed it...was 31.5 minutes. But you know running is soooo last month. Which brings me to;
3. Muscles - be able to do one proper, real, not-sissy-on-my-knees push-up and same for pull ups. I didn't have high standards which is why I would been utterly thrilled with one.

I've tried again and again, just to see if maybe by some miracle I could manage either. With push ups I could get down, but up was not so good. And pull-ups? They are just about hanging on the bar right?

Until today. Yes, she formerly with no upper body strength can do a full push-up! So take that trainer who said I couldn't do it without the gym. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go feed my muscles and gently rub 'em and tell them how much I love 'em :-)

Digging out the dirt

6+2=8
I counted wrong, or maybe it was wishful thinking but there were 8 holes to dig. They are the footings for our brand new deck which should be finished in time for summer. Hooray for cocktails and barbeque's and summer. Shortly after reaching depth, they were filled with concrete and stirrups and it's funny just how much faster a hole is to fill than to dig.

Now I could wax lyrical about how much I love exercise and strength training - wow was that a back flip!? - but suffice to say that I have found the reason why I train. And it has nothing to do with looking hot. It's all about being able to do stuff - fun stuff like kayaking or slightly less fun stuff being Bob the Builder's apprentice for the weekend.

In any case I love the feeling of raw power and of being useful and having the energy to keep going all day alongside my husband.

Quit with the moaning
The weather gods clearly thought it would be a wicked good idea to give us summer in the middle of winter. Apparently they've been listening to me moan from my frozen like state for long enough. So the weekend was unseasonably hot at over 30 degrees C. That's like a million degrees Fahrenheit. I kid.

Hot days working in the sun just beg for a bad attitude to come out. Did it? Nope. We watched "Sunday Too Far Away" a movie from the golden era of Australian cinema about the life of sheep shearers. In comparison what I was doing by digging a few holes seemed minor as opposed to the back breaking labour of shearing? Nothing at all. So I decided that not a peep would escape from my mouth about heat, sweat or tiredness. The only thing to be heard from me was some off key singing.

And hats off to a good attitude. I so thoroughly accepted the fact that I would be exhausted by the end of Sunday that I ended up feeling no where near that bad. So instead of driving we walked to my mom's for dinner. And then I wouldn't shut up the whole time. Attention seeking? Moi?

Conclusions
Good attitudes are wicked cool.
Whining is draining.
It's been two days since I worked my muscles. Guess what that means!?!

I'm crazy about muscle

The warm weather is persisting to my delight. There is nothing I like better than the feel of spring in the air, which would be when it's warm enough to stand in the shade wearing a breezy top and still be warm. So the definition of spring is when the mercury is at 28 degrees.

This means that all around the country writers must be furiously typing away at their keyboards with the one article title that screams summer is just around the corner - "Get a bikini ready body." Well whatever.

They always say that you should dress to flaunt your best assets. And with a couple of singlet wearing days already behind me, I figure that this year's swimsuit will have to be arm/shoulder/bicep highlighting. Cover everything else up, but show off those arms! It's actually sun smart too.

Yup, I'm smitten. The one who just a few months ago whined bitterly about how boring strength training was is now constantly flexing 'em, you know just to make sure they're still there. In fact, this week I've kept having to slowly back away from the dumbbells while rationally reasoning with myself. Less is more...one step backwards...less is more...another step towards the door.

So my arms are aching from yesterday and yet I dream of tomorrow. No, I will not be grabbing the dumbbells at dawn - yeah, like I'd get up at dawn! Nope tomorrow I get to dig 6 large holes and if that won't make my biceps bulge, I don't know what will. Bring on summer. Have a great weekend!

Either food or coherent thoughts

These last few days I haven't been able to string together more than a sentence. Usually at this point my brain screams 'ok, that's 14 words, now give me food!' And so begins the down part of weight loss.

Other than to say that the body adjusts very, very quickly to things, I won't go further for fear of sounding silly and spreading misinformation.

It's like this; two weeks ago I started eating more on the recommendation of the trainer at the gym. Embarrassingly, for fear of eating too much I started logging kilojoules. Not only did I feel full - very full some meals - my pants felt looser, like almost wearable except for the sitting down part.

Then we were away and on the pretext of needing to eat more, I heartily dug into the wine, cheese and scones. Taking note of the fact that after those 5 days my pants still felt loose I continued to eat happily.

And then this week, I decided to do something stupid. I figured if the 28 degree days are anything to go by, then I won't have much hope of wearing my beloved pants at all this winter.

So knuckling down and getting serious I went back to eating the amount of food I was two weeks ago. Except what seemed like a feast then, now feels like the start of a massive famine. I'm hungry all the time.

And here's the bit I wanted to avoid writing because I don't know what I'm talking about. My knowledge is cobbled together from the glossy pages of magazines and numerous strolls through bloggyland - most notably Leigh Peele's blog.

Right, so I think have just done a re feed, by fooling my body into thinking that the famine was over and it had begun raining cheese again. Now that the sun has come out, my body is pleading for more cheese (and preferably some wine to go with) while working it's way through the spares it had put aside for a sunny, non-cheese raining day. Eventually it will work out that the cheese drought has started and it will become more efficient with the resources it has. Which is the point I started at two weeks ago.

Now, when I first read about re feeds I thought they sounded like an awesome idea especially created for gluttonous weekends full of cheese. But in fact, this is actually more painful than I had expected. There is one motivating factor however, which is the fit of those pants which I can now sit down in AND breath. Bargain. Just the small price of constant hunger to pay for it.

So that's what a Camelbak is good for

....look, it's going in a glass first, it's not like I'm drinking it straight from the barrel....

....well how else do you suggest I get it out when the tap isn't co-operating??...

....Aged? It's been stuck in there for two years....ok, a little less...but not much...

....No, I don't think I should be left home alone either :-)